Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Frankenstein...almost

life is a bit easier when i forego searching for the perfect match or a complete set of anything. the new silverware set is only new until the first spoon lands in the disposal. or my perfect-fit jeans hit the dryer. i can guarantee if i'm ever at a dead end in my decorating exploits or a creative project, the best thing that can happen is an "accident" that turns out to be the perfect solution to my dilemma, like only having enough blue paint for three walls and scavenging the dusty garage shelves at 3am for some forgotten color to finish the project before the company comes for the weekend. just ask renee or maria and they will tell you that i have a gift for doing wonders on a shoestring budget or with an impossible set of materials. the point is that the limitation narrowed the options and at least sometimes brings about a novel solution.

not sure why i am thinking about this now except that i think i'm understanding that the creative process works well where conventional wisdom is turned on its ear. applied to my current educational pursuits, instead of saying "if i had a bigger budget i could just buy the whole set" or "if i would have started this 15 years ago," or "if i had more natural talent this would be easy", i'm learning to ask, "what is the best thing i can do with what i've got?" you know what follows- all the worries that what i have, know, or can contribute is not enough, that my limitations have placed success just out of my reach. i'm also learning that in order to create i cannot flirt the grim reaper or the project is doomed to an early demise.

the problem is that i really long for absolutes and solid substance, but those only come after the difficult work of creating is done. when you come across an intuitive solution you wonder how you didn't see it sooner, right? and time's a-wasting, you know? so would i rather have something resembling frankenstien that is alive and complete or a whole room of unfinished plans?

this is the world i'm in lately. so the decision to swallow my ego and just get to work is a humbling and healthy thing for me and anyone else who is daring to do something difficult or extraordinary. i think of this every time someone learns i am back in school and asks, "so what are you going to with an arranging degree?" i don't blame them because not many people know what you can actually do as an arranger, but i suspect the deeper question has more to do with that conventional thinking about creative pursuits. what if you fail? there are so many out-of-work artists, what makes you different? there are no absolutes so they feel that i am wasting my time or at best taking risks. but that is subjective because if i am taking risks, what do i stand to lose? self-doubt? a flagging confidence in my abilities to achieve?

at least now i can begin to see an answer to "what if i tried it anyway?"

p.s. jessica you can reach me at my first initial followed by my last name at yahoo.com. send me your address as well, i'd love to catch up.

chryl left the ground at 21:29 5 comments